


Whatever you left behind became my everything

by Bahar1182



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki Posing as Odin, M/M, Nightmares, Sad, Sad Ending, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Translation, thanos you bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-08-19 12:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20209996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bahar1182/pseuds/Bahar1182
Summary: Loki and Tony talk.That's it.





	Whatever you left behind became my everything

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The thing you left behind have become my everything](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980964) by [Bahar1182](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bahar1182/pseuds/Bahar1182). 
  * A translation of [The thing you left behind have become my everything](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980964) by [Bahar1182](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bahar1182/pseuds/Bahar1182). 

Tony woke up, panting. He reached his hand to hold Loki but he wasn't there.

_He wasn't there!_

Tony knew he might be in the bathroom. Or might have gone to the kitchen for a late-night snack, he enjoyed a cup of tea and some cookies when the whole town was asleep. He said it felt safe. But even knowing that didn't stop Tony from feeling anxious. He was about to go check the kitchen when he finally saw Loki in the balcony. He sighed from relief and went outside.

Loki didn't look at him. Tony hugged him from behind and placed his head on his right shoulder, only seeing half of his face. 'Why are you awake?'

'You were up before me!'

Loki laughed. 'But I asked first.'

Tony smiled. 'I had a dream. A nightmare maybe. I don't remember anymore. I'm okay now.'

Loki started petting his head. 'I'm not going to force you to talk. However, I think you're not as calm as you say. I think you need to talk to me.

Tony laughed and kissed his neck. 'Only if you promise you'll tell me your reason to be up.'

Loki obviously got anxious. But he eventually gave up and nodded to agree. Tony sighed, it wasn't easy to start. 'I dreamed of the day I built my first suit. Do you remember the guy I told you about? Yinsen... I couldn't save him. I've been putting innocent people in dangerous situations and I didn't even know. And when I finally found out... I couldn't save them all. I couldn't say sorry to the people who lost their loved ones. I couldn't even save my_ friend__! _I couldn't... I killed people. I killed _children!_

His voice was shaking. Loki was still petting him. 'Yes. That_ is _your fault. But From my standing point, that is what makes you a great hero.

Tony raised his head. Loki still wasn't looking at him. The city looked small (and as Loki liked to say, pathetic) from there. 'I am no hero, nut you know who is? Thor. He was born to be the hero. He's the guy who does nothing wrong and even if he does it's for a good reason. But sometimes even he can't save everyone. Isn't it the same for your _Captain America? _But they can't save everyone. They can't because they're the hero. They never needed the 2nd chance. But you...' He smiled. 'People like you or Agent Romanoff are different. You can't see people who maybe shouldn't be saved but deserve to.'

He was almost going to say:_ Like me. _But he didn't.

Tony never felt he want Loki more than that moment. Tony turned Loki to kiss him but he tried to hide the other half of his face. It was too late though, Tony had seen it.

'Let me see your face.'

'NO!'

'Loki...'

Loki's voice was shaking, he was about to cry. 'I... I was having a nightmare too. It was like my biggest fear had caught me but was showing me mercy. But I saw someone... suffering. I couldn't leave them. And if I ran away even more people would suffer. So I tried to do something about it, I tried to stop it. So it killed me. And you know what was even worse? _I wasn't able to save anybody!... _I was so scared when I woke up I couldn't even come back to normal...'

He finally showed his face. A not really big part of his face was blue and his eye was red. Tony wanted to touch the blue part but Loki immediately stepped back. 'Wait! I'll burn you!'

'Can't you somehow magic it? I'm curious!'

'I... I don't know. I was only once fully in _that _form and I never tried...'

Tony smiled at him. 'Let's try it then! You've never shown me your actual form and maybe you'll be able to come back to the way you like your skin.'

Tony didn't call the Asgardian form normal. It wasn't Loki's normal even though Loki rejected it.

Loki stared at him for a while but eventually gave up and started changing. Tony was fascinated by him and his magic. sure it wasn't the first time Loki did any type of magic, but it would fascinate Tony every time. Because it reminded him how different Loki is, which should have been sad but Tony being Tony enjoyed it, and how much he loved him.

Now Loki was completely blue. With red eyes and dark blue marks on his face and hands.

He was beautiful.

He wanted to touch but Loki stepped back. 'Hold on... Start with a finger. I still don't know if it'll work.' Tony nodded and slowly touched his hand. 'so? Are you burning?' He didn't get it. Why would Tony want to touch the monster? Wasn't he scared? What should he do if Tony was hurt because of him?

Tony smiled. 'Well yeah, but believe me it's not my hand~' It took Loki a few seconds to get what he meant and started laughing. It's not fair.

_It was never fair._

'It's not fair.'

_Why it was him out of all people?_

'Why do you love the thing that I hate the most?'

_He was going to disappear anyway. Maybe not now, but someday..._

Tony hugged him. 'It's not like I can do anything about it. Actually, if I could choose anyone to love. I'd never chosen you. You killed tons of people. You throw me out of a fucking window! But I don't know why... this exactly why I like it. I can't stop looking at you. I can't stop thinking about you. Sure I hate you as much as I love you, sometimes I just wanna throw _you _out of the window. But some other times I wanna go to Odin- where ever you put him- and just yell at him how awesome are you! I want to show him you're probably doing a better job than he has evet done. I want him to realize how much he damaged you. But then we probably won't see each other ever again and I don't want that!

Now Loki was crying. Or maybe he was laughing. It didn't matter, he was happy.

'Loki, I love you alright? I'm always here. Sure sometimes you're too much of an asshole to be on the same team, but I won't ever be your enemy.'

Loki laughed again. 'Sometimes I think maybe you're lying and somehow just trying to use me. And you know what? I'm okay with that...'

'Nice. Because right now I really wanna use you on that bed-'

'Wait! I want you to have this.'

Loki showed a necklace, which had magically appeared in his hands... not that it surprised Tony anymore, and Tony took it right away. It didn't seem to be something special. It only had a small green rock with a little snake-shaped thing inside it.

'It's the first thing I built with my magic as a kid. My mother told me to always have it, to never forget how beautiful thing magic can be. I want you to have it. It'd be safer with you. Okay?'

Tony nodded. 'Don't worry. I'll put in my desk next to that 3 months old sandwich. No one will even go neat it.'

Loki laughed again.

**********

'Loki's dead?!'

Tony didn't know how to react. It just couldn't be right. Yeah, it's a trick. Loki probably tricked Thor again. So he left the place. He left the sad god and his sad friends to contact him. Yes, they haven't met in a very long time but Loki couldn't be dead! He couldn't just leave Tony behind!

But he wasn't anywhere. Like he never existed. Like Peter, Like Wanda.... he was gone.

Maybe despite all the things he said to Steve he still had a little hope because realizing that he'll never meet Loki made him actually hopeless. Maybe he thought Loki could tell them what to do. Loki always had an answer, he was always there to take the risk and make the impossible possible.

Tony looked at the necklace. It was always in his pocket and now it was the _only _that Loki had left. It was sad, he was dead and the only thing left of him was a necklace, and tons of memory.

And now it was Tony's everything.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still learning English I'm aware this is shit. It's a little different from the original because my mind just works differently in other languages.  
I hope you enjoy it.


End file.
